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[03 Jan 2009|05:36pm] |
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lyk omg hai?
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[13 Dec 2008|10:45am] |
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mood |
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 YAY! |
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today's the 7 month anniversary! SEVEN MONTHS! AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHH! AHHHH! YAY! YAY! YAY! YAY!
and, last night, david used his ace in the hole--his voice. and you should have fuckin seen me. i woke up and i'm STILL a lil blushy. sounded exactly like i thought it would. my dreams hit it right on the head. yay! ever gotten that so-excited-that-you-can't-breathe feeling? i keep getting that. and we're doing nothing important again, YAY! last night and today are the best.
also, i'm listening to tussin by mc chris...and i just realised that his puke cough sounds like a lil kid.
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[11 Dec 2008|05:43am] |
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mood |
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 nerdy |
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i'm worried. i'm not about to freak out about it, but i worry. pepper randomly turned itself off and apparently it did that to holly twice. i think it might just be it overheating, but it could be something worse. iunno. i'm gonna go watch some star wars and knit.
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[06 Dec 2008|05:18am] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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i'm sick, strep throat again. my nose is a faucet or it's fully stuffed up. my throat kills. i'm puffy and achey all over. my head hurts. i feel like i'm going to sneeze all the time. sneezing hurts so fucking bad. the sinus pressure makes me want to stab myself in the forehead with a pencil to get some fucking relief. i can't breathe well. i'm dying, basically.
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[04 Dec 2008|09:36pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
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Just dyed my hair! -squee- ^_^
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[28 Nov 2008|07:18am] |
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been forever and a day since i posted! (only 3 weeks in truth) but. so. to paraphrase what's been going on.
the acer aspire glitch finally hit gwenie and knocked her down dead. hardware's all fine, MB's fine, but the mouse and keyboard don't work, can't even get into BIOS. so, i fucked around with connor's dead laptop (of the same model as gwenie), fucked about in BIOS and in 20 minutes she was up and running, i named her pepper dingo, but i call her pep or pepper for short. the name is of pepper potts and frisky dingo smushed together. so. i lost everything. but i have a laptop again. then pep started acting silly, so i did a factory restore, and lost everything i had gathered, but i repeat, i have a laptop again. no reason to bitch here! aubs has been basically living here for personal reasons, connor has to get her tonsils taken out, david and i hit six months about a week back (WOOHOO! to that! so proud and happy and lovey dovey!) i'm trying to teach aubs how to crochet and i'm on a crocheting SPREE! made aubs a hat today, well, last night/this morning. now i'm working on a cat cozy for the kikis, but something isn't right, i fucked up somewhere, so i set that down for a while to chill out and figure out where i misstepped. and. i think i'm going to start selling some of my crocheting, just for the extra cash. yeah. there you go.
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[04 Nov 2008|12:10pm] |
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I just pushed myself to jog a bit, do some planks, some buttkicks, some pushups and some situps. I didn't do a lot, I got pretty out of breath pretty fast, but I pushed myself to keep going. I'm really proud of that because I'm normally a lazy bastard. ^_^
Too lazy to write more.
Post Script- LOOK AT MY MUSIC! Yeah! YEAH! See? I listen to something other than mc chris! Aretha ftw.
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[27 Oct 2008|01:10pm] |
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I'm feeling really, Iunno, down I guess. Feels like things are just getting worse and I'm failing at whatever I try. My thoughts are a giant jumble of nothing and I'm doing what I can to avoid them. I've been watching lots of movies and listening to music on a constant to keep from having a moment of silence. I'm afraid of what I could be thinking. With the way the economy is, I feel like I'll never be able to get out of here. That fear is paralyzing, I can't sleep, I don't want to think. The more I wish things will get better, the worse they get. It's like wishing for immortality and dying the next morning. I've pretty much completely lost the optimism I once had. I always told myself things would get better, there's always tomorrow, things will change. Well, how fucking long have I been waiting for that to happen? Years. Looking back on my optimism, I feel naieve. Things aren't getting better, and I don't see it happeneing any time soon. How long can I hold out, just waiting? I'm listening to Never Give Up by mc chris on repeat, the lyrics make me feel better. But he might be wrong, maybe I should listen to the owl, I haven't taken many licks and I already feel like I'm down for the count. Maybe it'll all straighten out, maybe it won't. If it doesn't, I'm gonna figure out a way to become a zombie and just run around eating people that pissed me off. That'd be nice.
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| I stole this from Jeph Jacques, because I'm cool |
[23 Oct 2008|07:53am] |
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1. My username is _____ because ____
Well, I'll break it down for you. la=the cat=my name face=what's on the front of my head. I'm terrible at creating usernames. So, I just kinda pulled it out of nowhere. It's lame, I'm aware.
2. My name is _____ because ______
Caitlin McClelland Phillips, Caitlin is Scottish for Catherine, McClelland is a name that has been in my pops' family for many years and Phillips is, most obviously, my father's surname. I go by Cat usually, which came about when my mom's boyfriend at the time's drunken friend said that I should go by Cat and the name was born.
3. My journal is titled ____ because ____
"Please park it Margret, I must dance!" because it's fun. It's from Older Crowd by mc chris, and who loves mc chris? Everyone does. There's no real story or deep meaning to me, I just love the song and the line. That's all.
4. My friends page is called ____ because ____
I haven't titled my friends page, I might do that in a few. Hmmm. I'll get back to this once I title it.
5. My default userpic is ____ because ____
Right now it's an avi of me, it doesn't really look like me. It'll be a Vader icon in a few because it makes me giggle.
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| Ahhh, the blogging meme! 7 things about Cat |
[23 Oct 2008|05:27am] |
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#1: I flip flop on proper grammar like mad. At times, I'm a Grammar Nazi like you've never seen and other times you'll seem me saying things like "i'm so0o0o0o rawkin, like, you aint got no clue". I suppose it's partially because most of what I say is in IMs and "Hello, how are you today? I hope you're doing well." seems too...stiff and formal.
#2: I obsess over one or two bands/rappers/singers/etc. etc. at a time. I don't really like shuffle or listening to a bunch of things in one period of time. I usually listen to something a lot, then stop listening to them all together and later obsess again. mc chris is my current obsession. I take pride in knowing everything there is to know about my favorites. I work my ass off to get everything an artist has ever recorded, I'm talking b-sides, live sets, remixes, interviews, I mean EVERYTHING.
#3: I haven't been very open about it, but I study sex. A lot. It's started when I was a lot younger, I saw a documentary on HBO late at night about life like sex dolls and an obsession was born. Soon after seeing that doc. I hopped on the computer and ran my happy ass over to the library. I'm specifically interested in the inter-personal connections that affect sex and vice versa. One thing I love about learning about sex is that we never know everything, there's always something new to learn. I would also like to add in here (to debunk any social stigmas), I study sex, that has no effect on my sex life (lack thereof, rather). I know about sex, that doesn't mean I'm a loose woman, or that my sex drive is abnormal. I don't go about having sex to learn, I read books. That's all there is to it.
#4: I take pride in the label of "nerd". I don't change anything about myself to fit the label, it just happens to fit me like a glove. I love video games, reading, learning, horror flicks, comics, cartoons, action figures, HTML and zombies. Not to mention that my social skills are severly stunted. I know what's socially acceptable and what I should say, but I clam up or explode in the presence of other people. In the rare event that I have the opportunity to socialize, I generally turn it down, favoring staying home with a Romero flick.
#5: I LOVE ZOMBIES! Movies, games, music, anything really. If it involves zombies, I probably know about it. George A. Romero is a god among lowly peons, in my opinion. Zombies trump everything else. Vampires? No. Werewolves? No. Witches? No. Zombies? DING DING DING! We have a winner, kids! I like the underlying idea of zombies, the metephor. They play on a fear of people. Generally it's us against us, during a zombie attack, it's us against them, but 'them' is still us.
#6: I live on my laptop, Gwenivere is her name but I call her Gwenie. She's been through a lot, a bourbon and coke shower, being thrown down some stairs, being burned and partially melted, being taken apart by a novice with no idea of what to do, etc. etc. and she's still going strong! Gwenie's never more than a few feet from me. When I go to bed, she's next to the bed. My whole life right now is on this laptop. My music, my thoughts, my friends, my boyfriend, my interests, my everything is somewhere on this harddrive.
#7: I never have the same hair color for very long. I get bored a lot, so I change it up. My hair has literally been every color of the rainbow. I'm always looking for a new style, cut or color. I've usually got pink in it somewhere. It's kind of a release for me, your hair is one of the first things people notice, it alters how your face looks and how people percieve you. Just the same with glasses, you can change your existance with a new pair of specs, or a good dye job. With my hair, I have the ability to change the outer me, it can be scary but it's mostly a really true sense of freedom.
OK! There it is, 7 things about me. I could go on, I've got a bunch of things I could say. But, it's 7 things, not a million, so, this'll have to do.
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[19 Oct 2008|11:54am] |
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fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
fuckity
FUCK
fuck doesn't even look like a fucking word any fucking more
fucker.
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[16 Oct 2008|02:55am] |
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i've just been through some old blogs and whatnot of mine.
embarrassing as FUCK to see how...moldable i was. basically, i was one of those kids who tried my hardest to fit into some kind of group, i wanted acceptance and validation, no matter the cost. seems like i was someone new all the time, and i noticed that i constantly had a crush, and i was constantly on the brink of asking someone out or whatever i was going to do, then my hopes were so dramatically dashed. truely pathetic.
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[15 Oct 2008|12:59am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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what is peace really? is it possible? can one man be at peace with himself? can he ever be at peace with the world? for that matter, can the world ever be at peace with itself? from my eyes, thus far, i've seen the world and its people thrive on conflict...so how could we ever really have peace if we need conflict?
just a thought.
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[12 Oct 2008|11:45pm] |
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So, after I was fed up with being dehydrated, vomiting frequently and the constant nausea, I called my surgeon's office to see what in the holy hell I should do. They said I should go to the Emergency Room, and I followed their advice. At the ER, I got some IV fluids and some anti-nausea medicine. After I was discharged, I was on a clear liquid diet for 24 hours. So, here I am now! I feel almost totally like the normal Cat from before the attacks started. My diet's kinda low fat, that's mostly because I just haven't wanted anything very fatty. Also, I got interested in menstrual cups, and I got a box of Instead Softcups. I've been using them for a couple days, I really like them so far. I've also joined an LJ community, Menstrual Cups. It's nice to be able to troubleshoot and whatnot with other cup users. To recap: I was treated for nausea, now I feel great, and I started using Instead Softcups that i LOVE.
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[10 Oct 2008|09:56am] |
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I DUN WAN FROW UP NO MO!
HALP! HALP! I FINK I DYIN!
NO! I HALP ME NOT DIE! HALP ME! HALP ME!
MOMMYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry. i had to get out the little kid in me. but yeah, i think i'm dying. i've been nauseous every day since the surgery, i can barely eat anything most days. yesterday i was so nauseous that i'd wake up for an hour, maybe less, then go back to sleep. out of 24 hours, i was asleep for probably 20. and last night, i felt up to eating some soup. so i made my soup, put the crackers in the bottom of the bowl like i like, ate my chicken 'n rice soup, had a few sips of cherry coke, and i felt fine. about an hour later...shit hit the fan. i got nauseous again, got snippy with my family and promptly ran upstairs to ralph up everything in my stomach. then i went to bed. then i got up at probably 9:30, didn't risk eating or drinking, then i felt really shitty, so i went in the kitchen for a sip of water and found myself over the trash can hurling bitter, bright yellow bile onto an empty trix cereal box. and here i am now! trying to keep down a few sips of water with the hope that the water will get the bitter taste out of my mouth. i'm still nauseous, i'm shakey, weak, dehydrated and emotionally frail. i'm pretty fucking depressed. this surgery was supposed to make me better. i was supposed to be fine by now. but i'm not. and my stupid fucking worthless doctor won't give me any anti nausea meds. fuck this shit.
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[05 Oct 2008|03:49pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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blah.
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[01 Oct 2008|02:52pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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whatever's on the l word soundtracks |
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surgery was monday, it's wednesday. i'm still in a considerable amount of pain. in fact, i was in a lot less pain, probably because they were shooting me up with deloted. moving much hurts, the stairs are killer, i haven't changed, wait, that's a lie, i did put on different pants. i've been pushing myself to do some stuff by myself, but i still can't get my own food, make it up the stairs alone, getting in bed some times requires help, getting my laptop after i've sat down, i feel rather helpless. the pain would be easier to deal with if i didn't need so much help. oh, and my hospital bracelets are very sexy. so hot. for the surgery, they put this sterile skin glue on me and wrapped me up in seran wrap. i stll can't get the glue off...>.<
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[27 Sep 2008|07:38pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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Sweeney Todd Film Cast - Wait | Scrobbled by Last.fm |
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fuck. iunno what to do. i just found out about some different ways to go about getting rid of gallstones WITHOUT removing the gallbladder or having surgery. i'm considering giving other natural methods a shot. i haven't looked at the surgery as removing one of my organs. and i haven't thought about what will happen once my gallbladder is gone. i've heard from people who can't digest certain foods, fats, and sometimes meats. and a lot of people have diahrea most of the time for the rest of their lives. i hate disussing shitting, but everyone does it and i don't want the runs for the rest of my life...sounds fucking nasty. but, i mean, there's a good chance that this hippy shit won't work and i'll still be in pain. i have to consider that, and honestly, i think i could handle that. if the natural remedies don't work, i'll be in pain until i can get another surgical appointment, which could be in december, or even in early 2009. am i ready to accept the pain? iunno. i haven't REALLY thought about the surgery, i'm REMOVING AN ORGAN. won't that effect how my body works for the rest of my life? like, when something doesn't work or is broken, you don't just take it out, that'd make the engine work wrong or even not work at all. doesn't the human body work like that at all? i'm overwhelmed by the decision, since the surgery is in two fuckin days. i need to decide like, now. i talked to my mom about it and she thinks that if the natural remedy worked, it would be the choice treatment. but being the skeptic i am, i think that hospitals, just like everything else, is business, it's about money. why would they tell me about a cheap and natural way to treat this when they would lose money from it? i dunno. i really don't. i'll just talk about it with the people closest to me and come up with a decision before it's too late.
EDIT:
i drank the stupid thing, and i was all wrong about it, it's like, a week long organic vegan diet (i now know this thanks to my boyfriend's intelligence and ability to LOOK SHIT UP). so, i was in massive amounts of pain on and off for about 2 hours, and even now, i'm sick from it, and i can't even piss, let alone shit. so fuck my gallbladder, that son of a bitch is coming out tomorrow morning at 7:30.
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[27 Sep 2008|05:33am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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Deathmøle - Clotting Agent | Scrobbled by Last.fm |
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i couldn't be happier and more worried.
i can't believe it's been 4 fucking months. we're like...makin' it!!! YAY!
and, surgery at 7:30 in the am on monday, but i gotta get there at 6am. i've played cool about it, but i'm honestly pretty worried about it.
but, what's occupying most of my mind is that we made it to 4 months.
most couples call it quits by now, but i think we'll make it. i can be a bit of a bitch sometimes, and i can get argumentative, and surprisingly enough, we haven't had a single fight. i don't doubt that we'll eventually have our squabbles, but who doesn't?
despite my impending slice and dice, life is fucking AMAZING.
now, if you'll excuse me, i have to piss like a race horse and get some rest.
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[25 Sep 2008|08:55pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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Elvis Presley - Love Me Tender | Scrobbled by Last.fm |
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i've heard people say that they're so in love with someone, and they listen to their boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/partner/what have you say they love them too, but they're not sure they believe it, or doubt how much. (i'm failing to explain what the hell i mean...and my wording made no sense, i know it) honestly, originally falling in love was one thing, but when i didn't doubt his love for a second, that's when i knew it was the most real thing possible, that it'd last. now when someone asks me if someone loves me, i say yes with absolutely no doubt in my mind. being in love is amazing, but being in love with someone and having no doubt that they love you just the same, that's the most powerful, life changing thing there is. try loving someone with no doubts, and don't hold back, love them with everything you have.
maybe i should try blogging about something other than love and relationships for once...
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